The Disney Dream and Happily Ever After
As a young child, I sat down with my bowl of cereal on a Saturday morning and immersed myself in the world of a Disney. Have you noticed that every Disney movie surrounds a love story? With innocent eyes I embraced the prospect of love, and questioned as a little girl, what would it be like to find my prince charming and live happily ever after… Although I thank Disney for providing such amazing pieces of art and decorating my childhood, I worry about how many of us have grown up with an idealistic image of love and relationships.
The truth is most relationships do not involve knights in shining armors, castles and carriages, or a Happily Ever After. The Disney stories never depicted anything past the romance period in relationships. In all of the stories, the couples have just met each other. What about 3-4 years down the road. Would Jasmine and Aladdin still be the same? Just imagine what some of their relationship obstacles would be like. If I recall Jasmine had quite the feisty personality, and Aladdin had issues surrounding his identity and a lying problem. Disney shifted our culture into creating unrealistic beliefs that are almost certain to be violated.
How can we reclaim our energy in relationships?
Stop chasing the happily ever after, and accept that no relationship is perfect. Presently, we are constantly blasted by high expectations about love and marriage, and these unrealistic expectations influence us to think about quitting on a relationship the second our romantic idealizations are ruined, the second real emotional work needs to be completed. “As a result, nearly half of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. So do two-thirds of second marriages and three-quarters of third marriages.” This myth makes people feel that they are failures if a relationship doesn’t work out, and that isn’t the truth at all.
I’m all for thinking positively especially about relationships, but I also believe it’s a good idea to release the attachment to the “Happily Ever After” mind set. Release the attachment to the outcome of your relationship. By doing this you will actually give your relationship and partner a fair chance. You’ll be able to approach present and future relationships with your feet firmly planted in the ground. Take your relationship day by day, and honor the obstacles as they come. Extreme heart break comes from living too far in the future and not allowing yourself to clearly see the current relationship.
“The true Happily Ever After is when two lovers learn all that they were meant to from each other.” —John LeChance
So lovers, Reclaim your energy in relationships, and release attachment to Disney’s Happily Ever After.
Relationship Coach, and Master Healer of the Mind, Body, and Spirit.