Reclaim Your Energy in Relationships : Cognitive Space
“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself over and over again.”
Brittany sighed. It seemed as if Jason was paying less and less attention to her. He would come home after work and sit directly in front of the television, with his laptop snuggled on his lap. There are only so many shows one can watch on Netflix before boredom sets in. What happened to the new, hot relationship she had been in? Brittany glanced to the side at Jason, who was busy lost in his own private world. How can Brittany reclaim her energy and rebalance her relationship?
When Jason comes home from work, he goes directly to his laptop, TV, and begins to enter his own world. Brittany can continue to complain and interrupt his space, or she can understand that this is a symptom of Jason wanting his cognitive or time for the mind to rejuvenate, relax, and restore. Many times after people come home from work; they are mentally fatigued. They’ve been dealing with people all day, and the last thing they want to do is come home to an attention needy partner. Is your partner exuding any of these symptoms? There is a simple solution to this issue. Allow your partner to have the cognitive space he/she so desperately desires, especially after work. Most people need time to unwind after work. If you give them their own space, they will have refilled their energy and will have more to offer you during interactions. Jason’s energy is depleted. He enters his own world to reclaim his energy and regain what he lost during his busy workday.
A friend of mine works in corporate and attends Graduate School in the evenings. His day literally lasts from 7 am- 9 pm. By the time, he arrives home to his fiancé he’s exhausted. After weeks of this schedule, his fiancé became upset from the lack of quality time. After his hard day of work and school, due to him being physically and emotionally tired. During class, he whispered to me, “My fiancé is stressed because I haven’t been able to spend any time with her when I get home from my day, but what she doesn’t know is that I have absolutely no energy to give her. Even if I could muster the strength to engage fully with her, it wouldn’t be the quality of time that I know she deserves.”
Instead of allowing her to feel sad and ignoring her, he decided to sit down with her and set scheduled and dedicated time during the weekend where they could nurture their relationship and connect. On Fridays, they began going on dates, and on Saturdays, they both agreed to no technology. He also discussed with his fiancé about how he had been feeling after work and the need for cognitive space. My friend and Jason differ because one communicated about the desire for space, and the other did not which further upset the other partner.
Why leave your partner suffering in the dark? If you require cognitive space to rejuvenate. Reclaim your energy. Speak Your Truth. Your partner will be much happier knowing that it is not a personal attack on him/her.
Relationship Coach, and Master Healer of the Mind, Body, and Spirit.